Dear Diary & Nature Day 5/15/2019

I did something today that I have been wanting to do for a while. I went to the park and played some music. I was able to listen to nature. I was able to get some fresh air into my body. I was able to escape everyday worries and be at peace. I got some writing done. I was more excited about getting through 80 percent of a book that my love has been begging me to read. I learned more about myself while reading. Reading brought my attention to things I would brush off dealing with my partner and did not deeply take into consideration. I’m excited about getting through the rest of the book. I’m ready to take notes and start applying those things!

I’m also excited because since we finally stop being so hostile towards each other, we have been able to just talk! The only thing that is noticeable is the sexual tension. I won’t go into that, just yet. I’m excited about the progress. I’m excited about growth. I’m excited about what God is doing through both of us. The fact that I can see and feel the growth is amazing. Today has got me feeling elated! There’s more to our story and I have faith in that. I can see it being laid out in front of me. Thank you so much, God. You deserve all the glory and praise on this. YES!

So my therapist made a crucial point when it came to our relationship. We were taking everything so seriously. I imagine I had something to do with part of that. We rarely did things in the spur of the moment. I was always wanting things to have set times. Due to the fact that he’s going into ministry, we have to be careful about what is done in public. I would love to do more spur of the moment things now. I finally understand why he doesn’t like timestamps on everything. Doing things at the moment makes life more enjoyable. It keeps things fresh and exciting. I can’t wait to start! It feels like we are on the road to breaking out of a shell and start living for us and not everyone else. God just showed me that all today.  Thank you so much for that light bulb. I’m so anxious to use what you’re teaching me in this relationship.